Tuesday, October 9, 2007

A Letter from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder


Dear Friend,

Even though its not been long enough, I've come to visit you once again. I live to see you suffer mentally, physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually. My visit will again make you anxious and irritable so everything and everybody will cause you to feel uncomfortable and disoriented. I want you to be confused and depressed so that you can't think clearly and you'll hate everybody, especially yourself. I want you to feel guilty and remorseful for the things in the past. I want to keep you angry and hateful towards the world and the way you are now. I want you to blame everyone but me for the predicament. I want you to stay fearful and paranoid for no reason at all. I want to live inside your dreams so you can wake up sweating and unable to go back to sleep. I thank you for the countless jobs you gave up for me, and for the fine friends that you ignored because we became so close. Most grateful for the family you sacrificed so you and I could be together. I am happy that you were able to pass me on to your wife and children when they tried to stand by you. Thanks for devoting your life to me. But do not despair!, because I will never desert you as the others have. I will become an even greater part of your life. You can depend on me to keep you living in eternal Hell. I will be your only friend.

Forever with affection,

PTSD

6 comments:

Glenn Wilson said...

Some friends you need to learn to leave behind.

Good luck.

Blue Devil Knight said...

I admire you for dealing with it. Most ex Vietnam vets I know just buried it deep down.

The retired pawn said...

Glenn: I wish I could. It will be years of therapy before can let go of my anger. Thank you for stopping by.

BDK: Thank you for your comment. What sense does it make for my to pretend that nothing is wrong? I am going to let people know that they (fellow PTSD suffers) are not alone. My only wish is for the US Government to honor its commitment to care for and improve the quality of life for those with any service connected disability.

Anonymous said...

I am married to a retired Navy vet who was never on the front lines but did serve in Afghanistan and experienced some things that continue to haunt him. It is affecting our marriage and he is wanting to leave his 5th job since he retired a little over a year ago. He will not go to therapy and is so full of paranoia and anger. Any suggestions. HELP

The retired pawn said...

Tired and sad wife: Please email me at qm177046 at ya hoo dot com. I will provide you with some further assistance. This is to keep the viewing public from reading our discussion.

BlunderProne said...

Be good to yourself just for today.

Then do it again tomorrow... and the day after ... adn the day after. One at a time.

best wishes.